The value of preparing for the end

8 September 2022

My father, Gene Adams, passed away on August 20. He was just a few weeks shy of his 92nd birthday. (I took the picture at left in January 2022. He was such a cheerful and adorable man!) Gene had moved into assisted living three months prior and his passing was swift and peaceful. I’m so grateful I was able to be with him when he died.

As soon as he passed away, the work began. After my mother, Betty, passed away in 2015, I helped my father with these tasks. But this time the responsibility fell square on my shoulders. To be honest, I felt overwhelmed by all that had to be done—it’s so hard to do everything while navigating grief. I was fortunate to have two friends who traveled to Walla Walla to help me navigate this. I’m not sure what I would have done without them!

As difficult as it was, the process was made so much easier because my father and I had planned everything ahead of time. As I wrote after my mother died, I took some estate organizing training back in 2006 and afterward, I took both my parents through Jeanne Smith’s Exit Stage Right workbook.

Thanks to that effort, I knew what my father wanted in his obituary, what songs he wanted sung at his memorial service, that he wanted a private burial following by a public church service, and even what singer he wanted to perform at the service. That service was a wonderful way to memorialize him and I couldn’t have been happier about it.

A very difficult and stressful time was made much easier by the planning that we did. I urge you in the strongest terms to take the time and have those difficult conversations with your loved ones. Also, I encourage you to write down your wishes for your own arrangements. I promise, there will be someone who will be very grateful.

Tagged with: estate organizing, family, planning