The power of neighborly connection

21 April 2025

I send out my monthly newsletter last week and the feature article was about ways to take care of yourself. That day, I received a response via email from my wise friend and retired professional organizer, Margaret Lukens. She wrote:

I would like to nominate one more thing for the next time you address elements a strong self-care regimen: make contact with a neighbor, even if they are a stranger.

She went on to say, “Fear and anxiety tend to breed mistrust, which in turn makes us more fearful, in a vicious cycle. Having contact with those around us, even very casual contact, helps us to stay more positive and optimistic, which better equips us to deal with our all-too-real problems.”

She is so right. I experienced this first-hand when we moved to an apartment building last summer that has about 300 residents. I live on the 35th floor and I have a dog, so I spend a good amount of time in the elevator. Shortly after we moved in, my husband was hospitalized for nine weeks. That could have been an incredibly lonely time for me. But the fact I have an eye-catching standard poodle and I’m an extrovert (it turns out I love connecting with people in the elevator!) meant that I made lots of new acquaintances quickly. And that became a lifeline for me.

Our building also has twice-monthly community events and I love having the opportunity to meet new people there. And I’m thrilled that some of the acquaintances I’ve made in the building have become friends. It’s one of the reasons I truly love living here.

Here’s a little more of Margaret’s excellent advice:

So make eye contact and share a few words with a fellow dog-walker or neighborhood shopper. Greet neighbors at the mail box or in your building’s laundry room with, “I hope you’re having a good day!” It’s a genuine sentiment, and it leaves room for those among us who are NOT having a good day to feel a bit buoyed by the well-wishes. And it helps us all to feel that we are surrounded by caring people, which contributes to our own well-being.

I hope you’re having a good day!

Tagged with: margaret lukens, self-care, self care

Comments

Thank you so much, Janine! Your example and your wise counsel inspire me. And you have a talent for friendship, you always seem ready and interested to connect with new people – I swear you could make friends with a lamppost if there was nothing else around! I’m glad I could return the favor a little.

Margaret Lukens April 21, 2025 12:13 PM