Prioritizing during stressful times

6 August 2024

Shannon and Bix!

I haven’t been blogging much this summer, due to a variety circumstances, which I explained in my most recent blog post, Giving myself grace. In that post, I danced around the specifics of my husband’s illness that has had him hospitalized since June 24. But I can reveal it now. On July 29, he had a heart transplant.

The five weeks in the hospital waiting for the transplant were stressful, which probably goes without saying. The first week, in which he was evaluated as a candidate for a transplant, was particularly difficult because his future was bleak if he did not get put on the list.

Once he was put on the list, he was moved to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. He actually felt pretty good but was tied to machines. I visited at least once a day, while I was trying to get our new apartment unpacked. (We moved in two days before Barry was hospitalized.)

Then, on July 28, we got word that there was a heart for him and the transplant would take place on Monday, July 29. Thankfully, in the time he was hospitalized prior to the transplant I was able to get the apartment unpacked (with the help of professional organizers) and make the guest room (which is also Barry’s office) functional.

Just two days after the surgery, my friend and former podcast co-host, Shannon Wilkinson flew from St. Louis to Portland to help and support me. She is making sure that Bix (and lots of other things) are taken care of so that I can spend my time at the hospital with Barry.

Between Barry’s health crisis and moving (oh, and getting our old house renovated to sell), I’ve had a lot on my plate. I’m still running the business, but my employees are doing all the heavy lifting. What’s really helped me is being very clear about my priorities.

They are:

Barry
Bix
Peace of Mind Organizing
Settling into our new apartment
Getting our house ready to sell
Everything else

Right now, there’s little time for more than #1. Thanks to Shannon, #2 is taken care of. Thanks to my employees, #3 is being taken care of without too much effort from me. As for #4, my team members and friends helped me get the apartment unpacked and I need to keep plugging away at getting my change of address disseminated. (I did manage to vote yesterday, which felt like an achievement!) Our real estate agent, Mike Palermo has coordinated the renovations (#5), making it as effortless for me as possible.

The key to maintaining my sanity throughout these last two months has been two things: knowing my priorities and accepting help. We are fortunate to have lots of caring friends who have offered help all along the way. (My college friend, Denise, flew here from Virginia right after Barry was hospitalized to make sure I was okay and that I was well fed.) It can be tricky to know what help to ask for but specific requests from me are always well received. I’m actually getting pretty good at accepting hep, which sometimes feels challenging.

As I’ve navigated this, a lot of things have fallen through the cracks. My car insurance lapsed without my knowing it. I haven’t made the time to go to City Hall and take my notary oath (though I did manage to get the application in before my notary commission expired last month), a lot of places still think I live at my old address. But nothing devastating has happened. And I just give myself grace.

I know I have finite capacity. And when I’m in crisis, focusing on the most important things lets everything else fall away. Barry is making progress every day as he recovers from major surgery. In a matter of months, he will be better than before. And that’s when I’ll catch up on my Quickbooks and whittle down my email inbox. But until that time, I’m keeping my eye on the prize: my family’s health and well being.

Tagged with: family, health, priorities