Peace of Mind Organizing

Question your beliefs

11 March 2009

Most of the people I work with are dealing with clutter. As we work through the stuff and I help the client make decisions about whether to keep items, I’m often amazed at the different ways people feel about letting stuff go.

Some apply pure reason. “I haven’t used this serving dish in two years. I don’t need it. Let’s donate it.” That always makes me cheer.

Others, have a deeper attachment to their stuff and those conversations are different. “My great aunt gave that serving dish to me and even though I don’t like it and I don’t think I’ll ever use it, I can’t possibly give it away.” When that happens, we revisit the client’s vision for the space and purpose for getting organized and sometimes she’ll be willing to let go of the unloved serving dish when she realizes it doesn’t support her vision for her space.

Why do some people cling to their stuff? They may be harboring some deeply held beliefs that get in the way of their deciding that it’s okay to say goodbye to some of their belongings.

I recently read Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding, by David F. Tolin, Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee. This book, which presents cognitive behavioral therapy techniques for hoarders to help themselves, is fabulous. Its compassionate approach is based on the landmark research the authors are doing on treating hoarders. In the book, the authors talk about “unhelpful beliefs” that get in people’s way of getting rid of clutter. They include:

• Beliefs about the usefulness of an item. Every item shows potential.
• Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes. If I throw it away, I might be sorry.
• Beliefs about responsibility. I have to find the best home for it.
• Beliefs about attachment. This item is like an old friend.
• Beliefs about objects as a source of identity. Those old tubes of paint make me feel like a painter.
• Underestimating memory. I’ll never remember this event if I throw away the program.
• Beliefs about control. This is my stuff. You can’t tell me what to do with it.

Recognizing and questioning unhelpful beliefs like these can you get past them and free yourself of items that are weighing you down.

The new teleclass, Declutter Happy Hour, I’m offering with life coach Shannon Wilkinson can help you get to the root of those beliefs and clear the emotions behind them, while getting started on physically decluttering your space.

Tagged with: chronic disorganization, clutter, david tolin, decluttering, disorganization resources, hoarders, hoarding, obstacles, perfectionism

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